Apparently Tamwar standing up to the gang has made him the most popular man in the Square... people got him cards and everything. The best part about that is how plausible it is! But his happiness (actually, it's Tamwar so he still looks as if he's trying to pass a kidney stone) is short lived as Geordie Racer has sent Masood flowers!
It seems as if Tiffany is now a material witness to Tamwar's mugging. As usual, a police officer turns up on their doorstep to conduct an interview... perhaps the most surprising thing is that it's only ONE police officer - usually they get two. Those cuts, eh? Liam is also bunking off school (again).
Tamwar is not happy when he finds out that his father was potentially going to run away with Geordie Racer... Oh no! A slightly disgruntled Tamwar... will anyone be able to bring themselves to give a damn about anything Tamwar says or does because of this?! THE SUSPENSE! IT'S TOO MUCH!
Bunking off regularly and being part of a gang, has led the school to write a letter to Bianca telling her how great Liam is after their chat last month. Bianca seems as proud as punch and decides that Liam's obviously fake cough is grounds for letting Liam bunk-off. To be fair, if he's anything like his father there's more chance of a rock getting good GCSEs than him. Also, it's nice to see that Ricky has been totally forgotten.
Tamwar gets a standing ovation when he walks into the market but even that can't get rid of the constipated look from his face and he then goes on to confront his father about Geordie Racer.
Bianca is showing off her letter about Liam's exemplary attendance, dramatically increasing the possibility of it being fake. Ian is not particularly impressed, as he has to work in the caffffffffff instead of Carol.
Oh and Tamwar, being petulant and constipated decides the best thing to do is tell his mother about what Masood has been up to. Actually, it'll be what he imagines Masood has been up to. He has nothing to base his suspicions on beyond a card and some flowers.
Denise and Ian flirt a bit and for some reason, the caffffffffffffff needs to get milk from the minimart. This is explained by Ian saying that it's "all over the place". Uh, maybe you should get a handle on that then Ian or at least tell Skeletor.
Misery guts Carol gets a mysterious phone call from the pervy probation officer and he's being all cryptic. As this is a matter too important for him to discuss over the phone, the logical place for them to meet is in a local pub. Also Liam and Tiff are bickering and Misery guts Carol shows a marked disinterest in helping Tiff deal with Liam's belligerence .. something very much at odds with the personality she used to have. Looks like someone else paid a visit to the ever popularity personality transplant clinic at Walford General!
Denise returns home (she'd done a whole five minutes of work!) to find Ian made Patrick some lunch. Clearly, the way to a woman's heart is through her not-father's stomach! Patrick is wise to Ian's game though - which makes is strange that Denise seems so surprised.
It turns out the pervy probation officer has been reassigned and Bianca is STILL going on about that letter. Jeez, shut up about it already, Bianca!
AJ is coaching Masood on what to tell Tamwar. Masood doesn't seem to think that telling an edited version of events is right... and that's when Tamwar pops up, having overheard an unknown amount of the conversation.
Ian talks about being his experience reverting to a feral trampoid subhumanoid and apparently Denise just eats up him telling her what a terrible wreck of a man he was during his absence from Walford. A packet of crisps saved his life! Cheese and onion crisps save lives, people. After this tearful revelation, he and Denise hug... and then it's some kissing after a tacit admission of love.
Socially awkward Tamwar has Masood explain the Geordie Racer scenario to him. Yawn.
Denise and Ian plan their secret affair and they're not the only ones because as Patrick goes to the bookies (seems like his recovery is coming along a pace if he can navigate the clearly snow covered streets of Walford) he sees Jay and Abi on their way to the B&B. Perhaps someone should start a count down to a pregnancy scare!
Probation officer perv and Carol meet. He knows about Billie dying. Turns out he wasn't a perv, he just wanted to get to know her because he lost his daughter too and when he found THAT out, he just wanted to become her best friend in the world. Hence, he had to recuse himself from being Bianca's probation officer.
Having gone on about Liam's letter from the school ALL episode, it should come as no surprise that as soon as she looks around - she finds stationary which was clearly used to create the letter she was so excited about and the money belt that was stolen from Tamwar. DUN DUN DUN!
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