Thursday 28th March 2013

DA YOUFFFFFFF are still on the estate and Liam suffers a crisis of confidence when he says the fuzz but with some suitable brow beating from

Misery Guts Carol tries to tell Bianca she has done her best but she isn't so sure. Rightly so.

Liam's gang initiation continues with a bit of a scrap and in yet another incredible piece of coincidence, she (with Dexter Fletcher) come upon Liam and one of the nameless gang members punching one another on the ground. Shouldn't they BOTH be at work?

Oh and Dexter Fletcher was in the same gang that Liam is in now and has history with the gang leader... Also, apparently Liam didn't grow up on the estate, so he can't cope with the thug life like Dexter Fletcher... because obviously Walford is such a well heeled place.

Arfuuuuuuuuuur laments his ill fortune but realises the real treasure is friendship or something. Yawn.

Ava has now taken Liam under her wing but he has yet to see that the gang doesn't really care about him... and apparently thinks it's a good idea to try starting on Dexter Fletcher... it's perhaps inadvisable to taunt someone who looks as if he could punch through your body without any discernible effort.

Jean has somehow gone from barely capable cook to being able to do a wedding cake... and so the much anticipated cake wars begin with Ian and Jean fighting to provide a cake for Sharon's wedding. Hopefully Jean does it and accidentally puts rat poison in the cake.

Ava finally gets around to telling Bianca she has his son and insists she not let him out of her sight... which of course means when she turns around he has used his ninja skills to exit the house silently and is then reunited with the gang leader Kane. DUN DUN DUN!

Arfuuuuuuuuur's good deed is rewarded when the spurned wife gives him the watch he was going to purloin. Well, that all worked itself out nicely.

THE CAKE WARS CONTINUE! Because somehow a professional caterer and qualified chef is concerned about a woman who can only cook sausage surprise and thinks that cupcakes are a basis of experience for wedding cakes... also, Ian seems to have somewhat reverted to his old self. Petty, churlish and mean spirited... so much for being a new person! Which ironically, he was.

Dot doesn't take the news of Pointless Poppy's departure to live with Arfuuuuuuuur too well.

Having earlier been spurned by Misery Guts Carol, Masood returns to help but is none too pleased to find out that Liam was involved in the mugging of Tamwar but seems to relent and just holds Carol, who is a trifle upset.

At the party, Liam's act is rumbled by a girl who knows him from school and she tells him that these kids are bad news and basically, what everyone else has been saying.

Elsewhere on the nightmarish hell estate, Bianca has JUST arrived. Wow, talk about travelling at the speed of plot. Getting to this estate seems to take somewhere between five minutes and five hours - presumably it's extremely weather dependent.

Liam's friend tries to help him escape but Kane doesn't care for that and is now suspicious of Liam's allegiance to the gang. At which point - instead of assuring them he's one of them, Liam runs off and locks himself in the bathroom.

Bianca sobs incoherently until Dexter Fletcher reveals the location of Liam - who amazingly has his phone and just called, apparently just so his mother would know he's in distress as Kane et al knock on the incredibly flimsy bathroom door. Instead of escaping out the window or something - he opens the door to them but fortunately the Walford PD have been called (much to Dexter Fletcher's chagrin).

Dot is lamenting the departure of Arfuuuuuuuuuur, as him leaving will mean her life is over. Also, she finally comes clean about the council trying to take the house.

In come the fuzz just as things are looking bleak - breaking the door down, apparently they had a warrant because they break down the door almost immediately. Hauling everyone off as Bianca does what she does best - screaming and shouting.