Saint Alfie of Walford breaks into Kat's house because the door wasn't locked - just as well Walford is a crime free utopia, eh? - and when Kat asks how he got in, points out that while the Square may be known for a total absence of crime, it's possible Tommy could have gone wandering.
Jacknocchio and Sharon's hair are back from their impromptu minibreak... but Sharon seems more concerned that King Phil ignores her waving at him. It's worth pointing out that she waves at him when he has his back turned... OK, it's hard to tell one side of Phil from the other but not THAT hard.
Kat is still upset about Alfie wanting a contact order because she's a flighty, emotional and irrational woman who only a saint could endure.
Sharon aches to be near King Phil and so meets him in the caffffffff because she is also a flighty, emotional and irrational woman who only a saint could endure... there's a strange pattern developing here but then Kat has got nothing on Sharon. She's very upset about him not acknowledging her wave.
Bianca insists on Liam going to school but he's not going because he has become KEVIN THE TEENAGER!
Ian and Denise's romance plods along. Yawn.
Ray - not having a job or a life of his own - is on call to watch Liam (now sleeping) while Bianca goes off somewhere.
A little bit of pointless conflict between Max and Sharon as he looks at a house that is now for sale.
Phil and Tanya get to flirting in the cafffffff - apparently bald, overweight men falling asleep in public are a turn on for her... but then this is a woman who fell for a humanoid Scotch egg, so her taste in men isn't questionable - it doesn't exist. Then Sharon walks in to give her relationship advice - that's like asking a morbidly obese person for diet tips.
Tamwar has given away Kat and Bianca's stall - something he was well within his rights to do by all accounts but Kat being but a weak and feeble woman has to start shouting the odds, taking absolutely no responsibility for something that is entirely her fault. Even Bianca doesn't seem to buy into her attempts to pin the blame on Tamwar.
Ian perfectly describes his appeal as "more cake shop than catwalk", goodness. Was that an ACTUAL funny line? It's hard to tell given that it pertains to a sudden desire to impress Denise with his sartorial elegance...Yawn.
King Phil has had one of his characteristic changes of heart, so much so that even Max questions it but he has some motors and "an opportunity is an opportunity". Not worried about ZE SOCIAL any more then? King Phil even muses on how Max can't be making much money on the car lot... this is all starting to feel a little too close to violating the fourth wall. Max might as well say "Ah, you've decided to radically alter your motivations despite no discernible external or internal factor to prompt it." to whit Phil replies "Yes, quite but now you want to get back in to selling stolen cars because the plot requires that to happen."
Alfie makes the mistake of telling Jean things are going great with Kat - which isn't true and so, as surely as night follows day, she blubs to Kat... and Kat gets shouty and irrational again. Actually, it seems unfair to say that - she hasn't really STOPPED being shouty and irrational. Oh and Alfie points out that Tommy being part of an elaborate game of human pass the parcel is probably bad for him. About time! This only increases Kat's irrationality though and she petulantly demands her son... eh, you've still got nothing on Sharon.
Bianca has a meeting with Ava about Tiff and this quickly escalates into "IAYNT NEGLECTING MAH KIDDDS!"
Sharon - clearly feeling that Kat is trying to muscle in on her act - bursts into Phil's house, blurts out something that King Phil is baffled by and leaves. That was... confusing but if one scene summed up Sharon, it would be this one.
Kat is still waiting for Tommy and about the only reason for this seems to be so Michael can wind her up about not being a good mother.
Turns out - despite being in primary school - Ava has heard about Liam's gang problems. Oh and her son was in a gang. Handy. Let's hope it wasn't because he was black.
There's another scene about the Denise/Ian romance but the less said of it, the better. Unless you find the prospect of Ian's bulging gut appealing.
DA YOUFFFFFFFFF GANG are loitering outside Bianca's house and Liam is being forcibly restrained by Ray to prevent him leaving.
Having been chastened by Michael's words in the Vic, Kat decides to try and butter up Tamwar so that he won't give her stall away... or, you could just try the shocking idea of turning up on time. Too crazy?
Max and Jacknocchio are still inexplicably angry at one another. What are they? Twelve? This is also when Sharon announces the wedding is in three weeks... yes because weddings can just happen like that. Oh, it is in the club though.
Kat - despite having proven repeatedly in just one day that she is hysterical, irrational, irresponsible and just generally an all around terrible human being - assures Alfie that he doesn't need a piece of paper because he's Tommy's dad... Understandably, even Saint Alfie seems a little wary of this.
Not content to prevent him from leaving the house, Liam is now locked in his room. DOOF DOOF DOOF!
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