Bianca - being a working class mother that the Crayon Crew have to patronise - is clearly neglecting the fact that Liam has fallen in with the rainbow gang of youffffffffffffffff.
Dot has kicked Pointless Poppy out and this has upset her... and where else would they end up than the B&B. Which means we get to see the stomach churning sight of Max and his (secret) wife (sans make-up... the natural look isn't working for her) canoodling.
Tamwar has an important meeting... but no one in the Masood house can do laundry. So he looks like more of a berk than usual, which is saying something.
Ian makes conversation with Patrick - who advises him to just ask Denise out... goodness, this romance is so exciting!
Tamwar's important meeting - in the cafffffff, as most important meetings are - is with some market inspector chap... who tells Tamwar he's an idiot for believing the claptrap excuses of the people on the market and that he has to get them to pay their dues BY THE END OF THE DAY!
Kat isn't happy about the divorce because she doesn't seem to realise that lawyers are a necessary evil.
Liam's youffffffffffffffffffff gang are in the laundrette but Dot immediately kicks them out. Then she has an awkward conversation with Tamwar that will almost certainly diminish your will to live.
Poxy gives Alfie some advice on divorce proceedings - obviously, she's an expert on these kind of matters of law being about as intelligent as a frozen fishfinger - but that doesn't last long as Secret Wife is on hand to moan about being in the B&B. Oh, if ONLY Max owned a house on the Square. OH! WAIT! HE DOES! Or if you don't want to force that issue, rent somewhere! This is apparently how she goes about the topic of getting a raise for her five minutes of work a week... the idiocy of this situation is ridiculous.
Pointless Poppy is STILL upset about being kicked out of Dot's and moans about this to Abi, who then goes on to complain how sixth form is so expensive... it is?
Alfie realises that having been divorced more time than he's had hot dinners will probably be a more reliable source of information than his lobotomised girlfriend and so tactlessly asks about it. Then Patrick appears! And Ian might be going on a date!
Pointless Poppy & Secret Wife have a discussion about life in the B&B, where they are now both in residence
Tamwar lacking a spine ineffectively asks Kat and Goonie for their pitch fees, in a manner more bashful than a teen talking to a member of the opposite sex for the first time. This leads them to the conclusion he's gone power mad... or, y'know - you're just being petulant children who are abusing his inability to interact with other human beings in anything approximating a normal manner.
Secret Wife is doing the rounds on the Square and offers Kat some legal advice. As Alfie has nothing better to do than occasionally walk into conversation Kat is having, he tells her things are going to be fine but she's worried what Tommy will think. It seems unlikely he knows what is going on, given that he's part of an ongoing game of pass the parcel.
The multi-ethnic youfffffffffffff gang appear and it's all down to Tamwar to stop their reign of terror - which consists of kicking litter around outside the cafffffffffff. What they haven't taken into account is that Tamwar is the most socially awkward human alive and merely being in proximity to him is unbearable if you've not become acclimatised... so they all slink off. Which gets him a round of applause.
Poxy admonishes Saint Alfie for not moving on... yeah a whole what... two months after he found out his wife was cheating on him? How long was he married for? Quite a while... and he's just supposed to be over this? Surprisingly, Saint Alfie doesn't just supinely take this but tells Poxy to shut her cakehole... about damned time. He's contrite immediately afterwards which spoils it a bit though.
Arffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuur goes for a heart to heart with Dot because he seems to be aware that there is more involved in Pointless Poppy's ejection from the house than merely his naked sleep walking.
Now, it's Monday on the Square and we all know what that means! PARTY NIGHT! The whole work week ahead of you, so what better way to prepare yourself for four more days of work that getting paralytically drunk? Which is why Secret Wife and Goonie are in the Vic getting drunk. Max does not seem impressed by this but Kat - who suggested this game - seems happy. Then she plays pass the parcel with Tommy. Is it normal for people to pass their kids around this many times a day?
Ian and Denise's romance is already on the rocks. Oh no!
The multi-ethnic youffffffffff gang orchestrates with military precision a hit on Tamwar, punching him and taking the pitch money. Oh no! And Tiffany saw it all! OH NO!
Pointless Poppy has turned up to tell Dot that she's forgiven and tells PP she can come back and despite having moments ago said that she and Arffuuuuuuuuur were going to get a place together immediately agrees! Oh no!
And it turns out Liam was the mastermind behind the heist! OH NO!
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