In probably the last acknowledgement of the dearly departed Tanya et al, Abi reports on how they're all settling in... Max then lashes out at Cora for some reason, causing her to strop off with Dexter - who pop outside to inform Evil Lucy that Lauren had to go into rehab - then Abi points out to Caveman Max - or perhaps Cavemax - that someone needs to do all the housekeeping, Max is the man for the job! The man couldn't run a bath.
Sam is clearly irresistible because Ava doesn't seem able to say no. Good grief.
Oh and Abi has found out Kirstie lied about having a baby... and then concludes, if not for her they'd all be playing happy families... yes, it's all Kirstie's fault. Obviously.
Evil Lucy seems very concerned about Lauren leaving. She seems positively distraught - oh and Joey is none too pleased.
Abi confronts Kirstie in the street - having missed out on all the shouting of rehab, it's her turn! It seems Abi's tongue lashing was sufficient to drive Kirstie back into her house!
It turns out Lauren going into rehab is grounds for some reconciliation for Cora and Ava... hoorah but before we can dwell on that, Ava is off for a quickie with Sam.
Having been instructed to get sage for Ian, Jean is already all a fluster and then she has to rush off to the Vic. Apparently pub lunches at the Vic require prep work... what's that? Turning the microwave on?
Abi seems to have finally realised Cavemax is a bastard and voices her discontent to Dexter... but he's an expert on relationships with fathers. Obviously. This little tete-a-tete is interrupted by Ava appearing and acting very suspiciously. Much to Dexter's amusement.
The lesser spotted Shirley appears to do something NON-Phil related - namely to tell the flustered Jean that she shouldn't take Ian's treatment of her.
Cavemax grunts some more derision at Cora, who pointedly makes the observation he appears to be hedging his bets as to his current domicile... Patrick comes over to talk to Cora - who is knocking back the booze (dohohoh) - but she's in one of her unreceptive moods.
King Phil says to Abi that Lauren is "in the right place"... and Denise is rather nice. Aww. Shame they'll all forget about them before the week is up.
It seems like it's time for Jean to go village mad woman again as she breaks down in the street. Fortunately, Sam is on hand to help... because that's how mental health problems work! So, they go to confront Ian but before they can get started - Poppy quits because Tanya has made her manageress of the salon so she quits! This prompts Ian - just as Jean is trying to say she's out too - to bluster her into taking on Poppy's job... so... she's a waitress and a chef? Ian is naturally grateful for but the most fleeting of moments... Hey remember when Ian became a nicer person when he recovered from his trampoid torpor? The Crayon Crew don't! Jean then shouts at Patrick for telling her lunch orders at the Vic are piling up and luckily, Shirley is within earshot to say things are only going to get worse...
Kirstie throws herself at Cavemax again as he moves out of their place. No bigger turn on than desperation.
Evil Lucy tries to explain her evil actions to Joey... which is an excuse for her to try and get back together with Joey, naturally. Amusingly enough, despite having said that he loves Lauren and heard Lucy confess to being essentially responsible for much of Lauren's current predicament - Joey seems fine with this seduction.
Ava and Sam finally get to have sex - they're like rutting teens.
It seems to have had a personality one eighty because he's all sweetness and sunshine to Jean - who is still in a state - but this is just a set up for her trigger phrase "little treat", that was in her horoscope earlier... it's like something out of the Mancunian Candidate! She's probably going to kill the president now.
Cavemax and Abi have a good cry.
Cora goes knocking at Ava's... and what should she see but Ava and Sam! DUN DUN DUN!
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