Monday 15th July 2013

Ian walks in on the ever so polite Carl talking to Peter and some more well mannered menacing occurs.

Dot seems very excited about reaping the rewards of her charity drive - meaning it has probably failed horribly.

Kirstie is still asking Abi to talk to Max for her - jeez, change the record. She's so embarrassingly desperate, even Kat tells her to lay off.

About thirty seconds is all it take for Evil Lucy to talk Ian into selling up his share of the restaurant... so much for that dream.

Patrick is still unable to break it off with boring Bettt... seriously?

Despite having meekly accepted his marching orders from Evil Lucy, Ian seems less than happy about the prospect of selling up when talking to Peter about it.

Abi moans to Max about being stuck between him and Kirstie - who can blame her?

Cora is less than impressed by Patrick's inability to break up with Betty and it seems that irritates Patrick no end.

Peter tries to woo Jean back to the restaurant, which causes Jean to go a bit bonkers in front of Poxy and Alfied.

Cora and Dexter discuss how she and Patrick aren't together... yawn.

Jean continues to be bonkers, this time to Kat.

Joey tries to trash talk Ian but he manages to demonstrate some backbone! Shocking.

Jean is allowed to run off to be mental elsewhere thanks to Kat's intervention and we see some chemistry between Kat and Alfie... before she walks back into the front of the Vic and Carl decides to hit on her.

Patrick gets the offer of help with women from Dexter - which is met with suitable derision.

A courier arrives at the Beale house with a brown envelope. DUN DUN DUN!

Jean tries to get away from it all by going to the allotment but the irritating chap from last time is there and that is apparently very upsetting to her.

Back with Ian, he assures Peter that he is going to "put everything right". Dun dun dun?

Kirstie warns Kat off Carl because he's not like other men... what the devil does that mean?

Joey takes a girl into the caffffffffffffffff and Evil Lucy has a bit of a cry. This is apparently part of Joey's master plan to find out if what Ian said earlier was right.

Operation Break Up goes ahead as if Patrick was an awkward and inexperienced teen but finally, he manages to tell  her it's all over.

Jean emerges from the hut in the allotment to find that her plot has been hoed.

Evil Lucy runs home for moral support from her papa.

The tedious Dot fundraiser subplot chunters along. Which leads to speed dating in the Vic - just in time for a quip about Patrick and Cora getting together.

Carl puts the moves on Kirstie again but she rejects him, just before receiving a remonstration from Max about using Abi.

Ian comforts Evil Lucy before none too subtly getting her to sign what he claims to be the insurance for the chippy... Oh and with two whole signatures, signatures - Ian has all his businesses back... because this (much like Ian signing them away while a gibbering wreck) would TOTALLY stand up in court. In fact, these are the kind of things you can do in a lunch break - they're not tedious and time consuming processes at all!