Tuesday 23rd July 2013

Ian augments the predictable shouting to Jean's revelation with a totally unnecessary flipping over of a table.

Cora and Patrick are having some kind of coffin dodger party that Abi stumbles upon.

Back to the tedium of Ava and Sam!

Carl doesn't seem too pleased at the prospect of coming clean to his mother.

It's Bianca's last day of probation and they're having a party, wouldn't it be a shame if there was a revelation about some recent criminal act.

Ian starts going off at Jean in the usual prosaic manner. Yawn.

Alfie announces his nuptials to Poxy... how exciting!

Cora has lowered herself to thieving from her granddaughter - oh dear. Thankfully she is able to call  in Dot's help.

Jean accidentally reveals she wasn't acting alone and then steams into the Vic just as Hollyoaks buys Poxy a bottle of champagne.

It seems that Carl's maaaaaa is in an old folk's home and upon seeing him, immediately feigns sleep... just to say "boo!" when Kirstie gets near.

RANDOM ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THE NEW BORN ROYAL!

Dot is coming across all Biblical at the Branning place.

Ohoh, awkward scene with Dexter dealing with his mother having sex with Sam. Oh dear - at least Sam finds it funny. Oh and he thinks this is the time to ask to move in.

Ian starts interrogating the women of the Square until finally, Shirley declares herself the accomplice when Ian starts leaning on Bianca. Downstairs, King Phil turns up for the rent and with his newfound interest in Shirley who knows where this could lead.

Michael gets all up in Janine and Hollyoaks business.

Dot has gone power mad on her puritanical rampage, prompting Patrick to scoff at Abi's attempt to sort out Cora.

Carl's mother asks Kirstie when the first grandkid is coming - ruhroh!

Kat - being the genius she is - takes the opportunity to remonstrate Bianca for getting Jean into this mess and then when Ian asks a question, runs away to ensure he assumes she's guilty but DUN DUN DUN! King Phil warns him off messing with Shirley.

It seems Dexter is ok with Sam moving in... although he's duckfacing up a storm about it as they play darts.

It seems Carl might have mummy issues because his mother seems to be the abusive type. DUN DUN DUN!

Ian is knock, knock, knocking on Bianca's door.

Cora and Dot are acting like five year olds (not for the first time), until Abi breaks it up.

Ava wants Sam to keep the toilet seat down. DOHOHO!

Hollyoaks scares Count Moonula off with a squeeze of the knee - you'd think he'd be made of sterner stuff.

Cora and Dot are BFFs now! Or the forced BFFs that happen in soaps.

Ian - THE MASTER OF UNLOCKING (or possibly just able to remember that no one locks their doors) - burst in on Bianca and says he's going to the police about her actions... despite the fact he did everything he could to prevent a full scale investigation, so there's going to substantiate the allegations beyonds Jean's confession and you can bet that won't last long!