Friday 5th July 2013

Ava tells Dexter some porkies about her whereabouts last night, covering for her liaison with Sam by pretending she had a night out with the girls...

Bianca is paranoid about Jean spilling her guts about their expensive hijinks in the restaurant but Shirley doesn't seem too worried. Which is probably the wrong attitude as a shoeless Jean is curled up on the ground outside.

Is Joey flirting with Evil Lucy? Goodness.

Denise instructs Ian on how to act like a normal human being before he fatefully says to Sam that he's "on top of everything" and leaves the B&B with a smile on his face.

Michael comes a knockin' to see his wife - insert generic sparring dialogue.

While the gibbering Jean looks on anxiously, Ian tempts fat again by saying he has everything under control. Apparently his sprinkler system really IS set to Biblical flood because it's STILL GOING! Ian takes it a lot better than expected, he doesn't SAY anything, he just retrieves the bookings and seems to deduce that Carl is behind this.

Cora gives Ava another Sam related ultimatum.

Michael comes to lean on Billy Idiot again.

Bianca and Shirley - keen not to rouse suspicion - are standing across from the restaurant, loudly discussing what happened... and then they find Jean. Bianca is still inexplicably on the "Ian deserves what he got" side of things and Shirley doesn't appear to have any concept of a little thing called water damage and of course, both of them seem completely ignorant of Jean's mental illness.

Oh, that might be the last mention of Lauren - blink and you'll miss it.

Ava looks to be buying time to explain her relationship with Sam to Dexter... let's see how that goes.

Kat comes for one of her now regular heart-to-hearts with Michael where she goes on about the game playing, at which point Michael makes note of the fact that her and Alfie aren't really a grounds for comparison because they aren't both evil. That is hilarious.

Ian hasn't called the police... and more hilariously, Denise suggests the reason to do this is to find out who was responsible... yeah, it's not as if the police just give you crime numbers over the phone these days... the little matter of the insurance though, which would require a crime number...

Patrick tries his luck with Cora... DENIED!

Denise seems to understand how insurance works, which makes you wonder why she didn't make the point about insurance to Ian rather than the hilarious notion the police might catch the perpetrators.

Jean, Shirley and Bianca are in the Vic loudly discussing their guilt and ever the upstanding citizen, Bianca's thoughts turn to how terrible all of this is for HER... sorry, you don't get any sympathy by playing the single mother card when you earlier wished ruin on Ian and then having seen said ruination visited upon Ian, seemed to think it a reasonable fate - at this point we should be look into something rather more punitive than punishment, perhaps removing a hand or foot?

Janine walks in and immediately wants to call the police - apparently having the police investigate is bad for business though! Uh... why? Oh and Evil Lucy backs Ian up on this ludicrous point, even as Ian offers to pay for all the damage. Oh and Janine showing a startling degree of sense, ignores Ian and Evil Lucy and calls the police.

Billy Idiot tells Michael that the reason Janine returned is that he told her Michael wanted her. DUN DUN DUN!

Sam tells Ava that she should tell Dexter about them but obviously, THAT would be too simple for Walford...

Cora decides to go dancing with Patrick after all, then acts with barely concealed rage when he's found another dance partner after she slammed the door in his face... Good grief, Cora - keep this up and women won't be allowed to vote.

Could it be that Michael's game playing is at an end as he goes around to tell Janine that he won't be all up in her business anymore and that he thinks she'll be a good mother and that he's even missed her. He walks out and tells Kat that he has made Janine fall in love with him again. Talk about conceited.

Sam and Ava worble on but are interrupted by the arrival of Dexter, which immediately leads to shouting. Incomprehensible shouting, from which it seems reasonable to deduce that Dexter is not best pleased but this is before Ava and Sam holds hands to signify the fact they are together.