Dexter seems pretty chipper about the prospect of his father disappearing.
Derek's two unspeakably bland children have a bland conversation.
Phil tells Dexter that his father seems nice, to whit Dexter says he didn't know him and in acknowledgement of Eastenders doing its bit for the environment, Jay reminds him that they've already had this conversation. Remembers to recycle!
Michael is still catatonic...
Sam and Ava have another conversation - because they're all chummy now - where he moans about how Dexter doesn't like him. Wow, it's almost as walking out on your kids can have negative consequences!
Abi has somehow managed to discern that things are bad for Lauren... with a brain like that, those exams will be a breeze. Then due to narrative contrivance, she ends up showing a French vicar around Walford... are there a lot of Anglicans in France?
Ava and Tanya talk about nothing of consequence in the caffffffffffff. Does Ava need to be told that describing Tanya's family like as a train wreck would be an optimistic assessment?
Bizarro Dot is back because despite Abi's protestations that she has to revise - because that's her entire life now, every waking second of it - she pretty much pushes Abi and "Albert" out the door to enjoy the sights of Walford... presumably this is so that when he goes to Africa, he'll realise it's paradise combined to the grim reality of London's deadliest slum.
Max gives Lauren a bit of a hug when she finds a bottle of his favourite win in the bin. Goodness... no shouting? What is this?!
Alice looks at the picture of her father - DUN DUN DUN!
To punish Michael, Kat has brought around Alfie. Which is sufficient to break his catatonic state.
Max - the master of subtlety - having had a bit of a touching moment with his daughter, crashes straight back to the sloping foreheaded idiot he is most of the time to just straight out tell her he'd like to take her to a support group after they've had some pizza. Smooth. Real smooth.
"Albert" is apparently intellectually orders of magnitude greater than anyone else in Walford as all of thirty seconds and he has already made comment on what a terrible place it is and how desperately it needs god... If it needed divine intervention, it would probably be better that it was more along the lines of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Turns out Max has lost his daughter. Oops!
Michael looks as if he's about to go stab crazy, sitting with the insufferable Alfie and Kat. They appear surprised when he gets up and leaves but he just wants to ask Alice about Scarlet's first birthday.
Apparently, "Albert" truly is a man of the cloth because he's French but risks a sausage roll...
Dexter is not best pleased that the car (that he broke) won't be fixed for two weeks, meaning his father will be around for two more weeks but this prompts Phil to give him a peptalk. What has gotten into Phil? Seems like despite not having Lexi, he's still in full on mother goose mode.
Alice turns up to tell Michael that Scarlet has an appointment booked at the hospital tomorrow morning - DUN DUN DUN!
Dexter tells his father about the car situation but makes it clear that a reconciliation isn't going to happen, which in turn prompts Sam to give Ava a dramatic "But there's a few things you should know..." DUN DUN DUN!
Alice has started to make amends for her thieving ways by returning Pat's earrings to Tiffany.
Apparently "Albert" has learned the lesson of listening... which leads Dot to suggest to Abi that's a lesson she needs to take to heart when it comes to Lauren.
So, Sam's dramatic confession - he never stopped loving Ava... except the fact they clearly still loved one another was telegraphed from their first meeting - an oblivious Dexter proposes a toast to the fourteen days before his deadbeat dad is gone, unaware that ol' dad is putting the moves on Ava and doing pretty well.
Carol has a little chitchat with Lauren and because she's related to Max - instantly uses a sledge hammer to crack a walnut by immediately going on about her dead son. She then runs outside (seems like she can't let a conversation finish without a speedy exit) and then runs into the arms of her parents and confessing she doesn't want to stop and indeed, can't.
A chipper Dexter walks home and has a friendly bit of banter with his mother before Sam appears from her bedroom. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
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