Thursday 20th June 2013

Bianca comes downstairs to find Morgan has reappeared to make the sink overflow.

Ian is being suspiciously nice to new head Peter... DUN DUN DUN!

Michael is getting ready to try and see his daughter and seems strangely polite to an enquiring Kat.

Ava and Sam have a run in at the cafffffffff... well, he walks in and she walks out, so they can discuss their torrid affair in the privacy of the outside but while Ava swoons at the notion of food from the caffffffff, the appearance of Dexter puts her right off.

The fasted plumber in the west has arrived minutes after the sink was blocked... and seriously, they'd calling a plumber for a blocked sink? Turns out Kat thinks the celerity of this plumber is a big turn on and she sets her skankiness to maximum. Oh and despite the genetic impossibility of it - it seems Morgan has inherited Ricky's brains. Unlucky.

Lauren - still looking like a corpse - seems a little uncomfortable as Kirstie dotes on her... really, it should be Kirstie that's uncomfortable given that by the look of her hair she was attacked by a flamboyant lion and she's wearing hula hoops on her ears.

Kat and Bianca discuss the Michael situation when someone comes a knocking - it's the plumber! THE REAL PLUMBER... Eastenders could really do with dramatic "DUN DUN DUN" sound effects, or possibly some kind of sting to indicate the horror but as it turns out this was just a friend of Derek, who was having a bit of a laugh... also, what a coincidence!

Dexter has to have his father's money (an advance for the car) forced on him... He's certainly stubborn.

Dexter's old acquaintance regales Bianca with tales of Derek while Kat snipes from the sidelines, it seems she has gone right off this character and if you like your storylines telegraphed this just in - this guy is a crook, looking for Derek's secret stash and naturally, Bianca is more than happy to help him on his way... and this, Ian - is why, when you find a box full of money that you know belonged to a dodgy character... YOU NEVER TELL ANYONE. You take the money, burn everything in it and put it out for the binmen just as they're coming down the street. Even Kat realises Bianca is being an idiot.

Count Moonula starts skulking around the hospital...

Derek's "friend" appears to talk to Alice - and just to prove he's up to no good, despite having said he knew her, clearly doesn't. DUN DUN DUN!

Caveman Max no want Lauren date Beale boy! Which is a problem because Tanya thinks that dating is just the tonic to cure her alcoholism... Not an intervention, not counselling, not AA or some variation thereof... not any kind of structured professional help of any kind. No dating. GENIUS!

If it wasn't obvious enough already, Derek's old friend excuses himself to the bathroom but that's just so that he can rifle through drawers and then Alice - upon finding him in her father's old room - spills the story about the box by way of Carol by way of Ian. DUN DUN DUN!

Finally, Michael kicks off at the hospital but manages to restrain himself.

Ian tries to teach Peter the placing of silverware but he's clearly in a bit of a mood and strops off after not knowing which one is a dessert spoon is. You're not fooling anyone, Peter. He runs outside and bumps into Tanya and they're on for a date!

Sam announces that after last night he is no longer leaving because last night was too amazing and then slinks off while Ava looks like the cat that got the cream.

Kat is channeling her inner Columbo - although as this is Walford, Inspector Clouseau would probably be more appropriate - as she sleuths her way through the mystery of Derek's friend Carl... by explaining to Bianca that Alice hadn't seen him before, despite his claims to the contrary. It's always good to have characters telling us what we already know!

Caveman Max is still against Peter seeing Lauren, when Tanya makes the most hilarious statement ever - Max is working all the time and she's busy with the salon. Ah, right - that'll explain why you've spent your morning planning a date for your alcoholic daughter because you're both SOOOOO busy working.

It would seem that "Carl" has now discerned the location of Ian... DUN DUN DUN!

Peter turns up to try and woo Lauren but she has decided (or somehow knows) that he is still a love sick puppy and shoos him away.

Michael - having clearly given up on his daughter - decides to inform Tommy of his true parentage. Much to Kat's shock. Given the fact he's expressed no interest thus far, it is a shock...

And so it begins, the menacing of Ian by Carl. Ian tries to pretend he doesn't know Derek but that doesn't work... although, when you think about it - going to eat at the restaurant of a man who you're trying to intimidate doesn't seem that clever. What's to say he doesn't up the gumption to poison you? Although, perhaps he has clocked that Ian was born without a backbone...