The Snake, The Vicar and The Brothel... who exactly sold that story to the Walford Gazette?
Ian is back to thieving cheques from Evil Lucy.
Half-Day Alice moans about being Michael's pawn... if only she had a backbone.
Ava has rumbled that Sam bought the car - ONOES! It's just so hard to care.
Kim ponders to Shirley how they got the story as a journo wanders up to Shirley and asks about the brothel, assuming she's a whore... the profession does take its toll. Kim is won over by the silver tongued journo though...
Ava guilt trips Sam about buying the car... booooooooooring.
Shirley is walking around looking bemused - presumably because there is nary a deflating bald man in sight! Given that she's linked to this story and they're wondering who told the press, perhaps it's her? Wouldn't that be a shocker.
Kim pleads ignorance (hardly a stretch) to the journo before Dot bursts in to act like bizarro Dot. Also, the B&B is getting dirty calls and Patrick warns serious damage could be done to the business! That seems unlikely.
Pointless Poppy is struggling to understand basic concepts - which she doesn't even need to understand, she just needs to know what to say and then Ian uses the cheque to pay for fancy napkins. DUN DUN DUN!
Alice starts acting really weird before thieving from Janine and to Janine's credit, she rumbles her almost immediately. Which results in the tearful confession she was working for Michael.
Dexter starts getting antsy about the car for some reason but Jay has posted the registration documents.
Having admitted to being untrustworthy, Alice attempts to convince Janine that Scarlet needs both parents.
Evil Lucy finally gets around to asking Ian how he's managed to finance the restaurant because apparently Janine didn't give him much. Then Ian explains it was Derek's horde that financed it all, cleverly dodging any questions about how he's going to cover the running costs in the interim.
Shockingly, the scumbag journo who assured Kim he would tell "her side of the story" has instead made it seem as if she ruined Dot's chances of becoming church warden. Truly, a story that will shake the country!
Janine returns to tell Alice that she's right and Scarlet does need both parents but that she mustn't tell Michael, just get him to meet them at the restaurant opening. IT'S A TRAP!
His mother having spilled the beans about his father buying the car, Dexter does the only logical thing... he wrecks the car! Ruining not just his holiday but also Jay's, Abi's and Lola's... what a champ! Then Ava and Sam turn up to look a little bored.
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