Count Moonula is sulking because he doesn't know where Scarlet is - months without any discernible emotion and now he's king of the emos. Showing Alice is really stupid, Pointless Poppy then gives her advice which is actually good - Michael is no good for her.
Cora continues to be sensible by telling Tanya that she needs to learn about Lauren's affliction.
Masood is angsting about his relationship with Carol... who cares.
New head Peter continues his crusade to fix the Beale family.
Lauren has discovered that is now under house arrest but this is just so she can prove to her dear mother that she can go a few days without booze.
Carol's nebulous health issues continue...
Dot - having bellyached about getting the position of church warden - is now bellyaching about having the position. Sharon then suggests a charity night at the R&R.
Count Moonula conducts a phone conversation with his solicitor entirely via the medium of shouting.
Evil Lucy tells Peter about Lauren stealing Joey and being an alcoholic.
Even the brain impaired Max seems to think that locking up Lauren is a bad idea but Tanya is saying that Lauren didn't go into alcohol withdrawal - oh, well that's a relief given that one of the side effects of that CAN BE DEATH!
Carol's mysterious medical issues... MENOPAUSE. Which she would obviously have to keep top secret because... uh... if people just said things, Eastenders episodes would be about five minutes long. Which would be a good thing.
Ian is inexplicably buying sugar for the restaurant at the corner shop... and is using one of his alternate personalities... and Peter comes along to say yah, like Lucy totally isn't listening which reminds him of this one time on his gap year...
Sharon asks Phil if they can do a charity night in the club and he says no, prompting Shirley to give her usual Phil related advice... really though, all Sharon needs to do is wait for one of his characteristic changes of heart.
Count Moonula is upset by the impotence of the law to help him with Scarlet.
Misery Guts Carol has decided to revisit the misery of Doctor Holby.
Evil Lucy thinks Peter is against her - not reinforced by him working at the restaurant.
Saint Alfie has decided to start collecting for the church... despite the fact no one goes there. Everyone seems pretty indifferent.
Despite having told Bianca, Carol has to keep her menopause a state secret.
Alice won't take a hint and tries to put the moves on Michael and gets rejected.
Peter and Lauren have a heart to heart but then Tanya bursts in and then Lauren reveals she was drinking vodka all day because her mother is an idiot. To prove this, she goes "SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC!" to her mother. Wow, she's slow.
And Michael is going to have sex with Half-Day Alice for some reason. Just to make it more cliched - she's a virgin.
No comments:
Post a Comment