Dot looks around the Square before her date with destiny, taking the time to ask King Phil whether Lexi is any better. As if that's not bad enough, Arfuuuuuuuuur and Pointless Poppy are still lurking in her house - having prepared her breakfast. She just has a piece of toast though... oh and then as if she hasn't got enough to worry about, Jacknocchio comes pounding on the door but she doesn't answer the door. For no discernible reason - something that can oft be said in Eastenders... in fact, more often than not - she is going to court all on her lonesome! Probably to make this more poignant.
Max is still making promises to Kirstie aka The Lips about a flat, as she is getting quite insistent... but he's saved as Jacknocchio comes a knockin' because he needs to tell Max about Dot's court appearance... honestly, it's a miracle anyone still remembers she's married to Jim - given that we hear him mentioned about as often as the laws of thermodynamics do.
Jack is still fretting over a letter he received and apparently it's from Ronnie.
Dot seems baffled by a metal detector at the court... Uh, she's old - she's not a simpleton. Fortunately, Ian is there to jolly her along. It's a bad sign when an episode is shamelessly padding before it hits the five minute mark.
Cora tells Arfuuuuuuuuuur and Poppy they need to ignore Dot's request and go to court.
Jack - inexplicably in the draughty warehouse that is laughably called a gym - is about to burn his letter from Ronnie but fortunately the perfect timing of the plot means Poxy appears just in time to stop him.
Dot is getting all worried about losing her house.
For some reason, Cora feels the best way to convince Max to go and watch Dot in the dock is to scare off his customers... as if business wasn't already slower than a glacier being observed approaching the event horizon of a black hole. Oh and despite the fact Max raises the salient point about her being responsible for Dot's current ills - apparently this is about him. Why?
Turns out that despite the fact we know Jack has had this letter from Ronnie for several days, the reason Poxy JUST turned up is that she knows Ronnie sent him a letter. Which begs the question as to why she didn't talk to him earlier. Oh, right because of bad writing.
Jacknocchio is able to remember the wife he'd totally forgotten - in much the same way Poxy is able to remember the sister she had totally forgotten about - anyway, just lots of "poor me" from the pair of 'em. Who cares?
FINALLY, Dot's trial finally begins and it seems to be a comedy of errors. Minus the comedy. Dot continuously interrupting her solicitor to say that what she's saying isn't true and Ian interrupting her to tell her to keep quiet and the judge interrupting HIM to tell him if he doesn't keep quiet, he'll be thrown out (no threats of finding him in contempt?). Oh and the icing on the cake, Pointless Poppy and Arfuuuuuuuur barging in to the obvious displeasure of the judge followed by Dot's objection to the solicitor lying "coz lying is wrong!". Good grief.
Cora also thinks the best thing to do is organise a party.
After the council lawyer tells the judge he wants Dot out on the streets before laughing madly and twirling his moustache, Arfuuuuuuuuur seeks to address the court!
A conversation betwixt Tanya and Max gets a bit meta as Tanya remarks that Walford marriages don't last. Next thing you'll be noticing everyone is always getting pregnant, having affairs, money problems or nasty accidents on an almost weekly basis! But clearly, we see the spark of the unkillable romance between the two - which is why The Lips turns up to be a sourpuss and points out that Dot was actually breaking the law...
Arfuuuuuuur takes the stand... If only someone had beaten the old adage "better to remain silent and let people think you a fool, than speak and remove all doubt" as he bungles his way through a meandering and almost totally irrelevant discourse about Dot. Hilariously, the judge points out that none of this changes what Dot did.
As if that wasn't enough, Dot then goes on to launch into her own lengthy, rambling monologue... Compelling courtroom drama this ain't. It's just kind of sad, really and not because Dot is potentially going to lose her house but rather because this feels like such a waste of an actress, standing up there and trying to do something (anything) with a staggeringly trite and banal monologue. It's a wonder no one falls asleep.
Dot turns up an remarks upon the fact everyone is there and not working - quite why this is worth comment in Albert Square is beyond mortal ken - and after drawing it out for far too long, it turns out that despite the fact nothing Dot said changed anything, she's getting to keep her house. A victory for lazy and predictable writing and everyone is so amazed at something good happening, they all start to applaud.
If only anyone could care after this mind numbingly dull episode.
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