It seems that Citizen Kane didn't teleport in but managed to get in through the window... don't most windows generally latch so you can't easily open then from the outside for just such a reason? Also, Citizen Kane's timing is still improbably perfect as his window of opportunity was less than a minute... Anyway, he just wants to talk to Liam... and that's enough to convince him to NOT run out the door.
Kirstie The Lips calls Max a liar... you might as well call water wet.
Count Moonula and Janine are still going around in circles while Ian moans to an indifferent Billy Idiot and then in what truly qualifies as baffling - Janine walks out to leave Billy Idiot in charge of an actual business, where he almost immediately proves he should be forcibly sterilised with something dull and rusty by attempting to appear clever and failing utterly... which means that in an episode just moments before dubbed a final showdown between Liam and Citizen Kane, we now have a comedy subplot with Ian trying to get Billy Idiot to loan him money.
The Lips rows with Max a little more about the fact he's always running off to Tanya behind her back and apparently he's had enough because when she packs his bags, he takes them and leaves... and because Max is such a catch, she almost immediately chases after him.
Citizen Kane seems to be quite taken with the sound of his own voice. Apparently getting stabbed brings people closer together but he keeps rambling on before telling Liam that he knows what he wants. Liam's instinctive reply is to look gormless and honestly plead ignorance.
In the caffffffffff, Bianca is oblivious to her son's endangerment as she makes like of her Misery Guts mother's inability to comprehend a smile. Lauren is apparently off the sauce... let's see how long that lasts. Although, she does regularly forget her alcohol problem anyway.
Turns out, Citizen Kane just wants Liam to withdraw his statement to the police and speaking of the police, the inherent pointlessness of just driving past a house is somewhat highlight by the fact they're totally oblivious to Liam's predicament... seems like Bianca should have saved her breath instead of going on and on about the impenetrable security of Walford's finest.
Somehow the world's least successful car salesman has managed to get a flat that looks bigger than about half the properties in Walford put together. Oh and despite not knowing that Max has rented this place, The Lips just strolls into someone else's house. Needless to say, this is probably not the best way to tell someone - let alone your wife - that you've purchased a flat... but The Lips swoons... and as Ava (who also just let herself in) arrives, she's none too pleased to find out who her new neighbours are.
A very confusing scene occurs between Abi and Jay that's probably setting up for the party to celebrate Jay finishing his community service (for being an accomplice to manslaughter and perverting the course of justice, no less) where Abi seems to be taking her first steps toward become a slag... they just grow up so fast... but it's all done in such an incoherent way, even Jay just sits there looking as if Abi had just suggested to him they use a bicycle made of cheese to visit the potato king on Jupiter.
WARNING! MORE MAX AND LIPS UNDER THE SHEETS! Also, the flat appears to be... half-furnished. Why would there be a sofa but not a bed?
Bianca and Kat have forgotten their stall - ah, the plight of the small business owner. Bianca is, of course, moaning about how terrible everything is for her... because when your son gets stabbed (albeit just with a preserve) your usual reaction is "me, me, me".
Citizen Kane expounds at length (again) on how Liam needs to withdraw his statement... for a street thug, he certainly likes to make sure he has articulated a point. Anyway, perhaps knowing that Liam is a little... OK, a LOT hard of thinking - Citizen Kane if Liam is stupid but clearly not understanding the question, Liam answers in the negative... Threats against Liam's family and then out of nowhere, Liam grows a spine and sees that Citizen Kane was a great film but not a very nice person and goes on to say he won't retract his statement.
We then find out CITIZEN KANE HAS A KNIFE! Goodness, what a surprise. Someone clearly decided they wanted to get fancy because we get a series of interlaced shows of things going on around the Square as Liam takes about five minutes to open the front door... and apparently Citizen Kane is all about being a good sport because he only waits until the last possible second to chase after him by which point even the sloth like and fumbling Liam has managed to unlock the door... and instead of just stabbing him, he just pushes him up against a wall...
Just before an incoherently screaming ginger ball of fury bursts through the door and knocks Citizen Kane off his feet... you could say this was down to a mother's desire to protect but this is pretty much a normal day for the ginger whinger and her blood curdling scream brings in Massood, Misery Guts and a random glazier to restrain Citizen Kane and call the fuzz.
Janine shows how not very good she is at being a mother before absconding from the community centre like someone fleeing the scene of a crime.
It seems that someone has set Lucy from good to evil as she gets Tracy (WHO GETS A LINE! HUZZAH!) to put vodka in Lauren's lemonade. DUN DUN DUN!
Meanwhile, Ian tries to convince Billy Idiot of the merits of his restaurant plan... and in what should convince him to quit while he's behind, Billy has managed to get one over on him... although quite why Ian would think that Janine would allow a substantial expenditure to be made without her suggests perhaps he should just give up now.
Citizen Kane and Bianca exchange meaningful looks as he's hauled off and apparently enduring this ordeal has convinced Bianca to call Thicky and unload Liam on him.
Despite an intermittent alcohol problem, it seems that a double vodka is enough to get Lauren STEAMING and in the space of about five minutes, no less. How is she not TASTING the vodka? Anyway, she starts being obnoxiously outspoken as everyone just sits there, seemingly not too offended - although Joey doesn't want to show his six-pack... That seems unfair... the audience has to endure repeated displays of affection between the Square's ugliest men and Joey starts getting skittish when asked to briefly expose his midriff? Do the Crayon Crew have a fetish for the grotesque? After a particularly ill judged remark about 'Evvvvv's death (and it's a miracle anyone even remembers), the party disperses and Joey decides they're over. For really reals this time and gets about as emotional as a smoked kipper... and Lucy gives an evil smirk as she leaves! DUN DUN DUN!
Another job of speed jacking and Liam is off to live with his father but oh no, HE LEFT HIS CAP! Bianca confusingly shouts "we won" to him as he walks off grinning. OK, let's see... it's likely that Liam would be a gibbering wreck given his previous behaviour and how exactly is him fleeing Walford a "win"? Yes, they really showed those bullies who was boss by running away. Don't try and pretend this was a happy ending, Crayon Crew. It most manifestly wasn't, it was clearly a case of the bad guys winning - your attempts to make it some kind of feel good thing is at best contemptible and at worst downright offensive.
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