Kat spies on Count Moonula doting on his child - surprisingly she's not here to play pass the parcel with her child. Max walks by just as Kat is leaving and says Jacknocchio has gone away, leaving poor Count Moonula to run the warehouse/gym because that's a lot of work!
Lauren reassures Tanya that Max is going to tell her about Kirstie's baby... Sure he will. Juxtaposed with Kirstie having decided on the abortion! Yawn.
Pointless Poppy and Half-Day Alice are in the shop - guess what? TODAY IS HER HALF-DAY! Oh and she has a crush on someone - who could it POSSIBLY be?
More build up to Tanya confronting Max about The Lips being preggers - yawn!
King Phil is not best pleased about Sharon leaving. Yawn.
Pointless Poppy and Half-Day Alice continue to talk... and really, relationship advice from Pointless Poppy?
Kat finds out about Kirstie's abortion... boooooooooring.
The most improbable story development ever - Max has a punter coming to look "ATTAMOTAAAAH!" Tanya is not pleased that Max doesn't come clean.
Ian needs a peptalk from Denise to realise he should talk to Lucy or better yet, show her he's not still a jibbering wreck. Oh and the "hilarious" subplot with Shirley working at the shop continues... Wait, didn't we have Denise telling us she couldn't hire her mates just a few weeks ago? Guess the Crayon Crew forgot that.
Half-Day Alice seems to think Count Moonula likes her, as mere moments after Pointless Poppy told her that guys buying gifts is a sign of affection. Toe curling awfulness ensues as she attempts to seduce the Count... oh dear.
"Deni" aka the Kinder Egg Kid still can't stand the sight of Sharon and pines for Jack... it's sad when Jack is the better option. Sharon shows what a class act she is by shouting at the son she has pretty much totally forgotten for the past six months.
The "hilarity" of Denise and Shirley working together continues and life seems that much less worth living because of it. Oh and Ian has a plan to open his restaurant! How exciting - less edge of the seat and more face down in the soup.
Count Moonula wipes away Half-Day Alice's tears metaphorically.
Ian's plan is derailed with one casual dismal. OHNOES!
Sharon has clocked that KEK hates her guts and is telling Tanya over a glass of wine, which leads Tanya to the conclusion all men are liars and need to be confronted. Yes, liars like Greg who was probably just about the only decent human being to ever exist in Walford. Anyway, this leads to her running off to confront Max while butter fingers Sharon manages to somehow simulanteously drop a wine glass AND cut herself... that's the kind of thing you'd really need to try to be malcoordinated enough to do and OH NO! SHARON HAS REMEMBERED SHE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM! Fingers crossed for an OD.
FINALLY Tanya confronts Max about The Lips being preggers... and it appears that it's another case of THE SUDDEN ONSET OF NIGHT! But we're spared tedium because over at Count Moonula's JANINE HAS RETURNED! DUN DUN DUN! Oh and of course, it being her house - she rings the doorbell (even though she has keys) and is facing away from the door, purely so she can do a dramatic reveal. It might have taken the wind from her sails if someone else had answered the door.
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