Masood is working on the water feature as Geordie Racer looks lustfully on from inside. She's apparently going to see Rasheed though - not really, she was just tricking him into going back into the house. Rinse and repeat of the same conversation they've had many times now - Masood tells her she's young and foolish, she tells him Zainab isn't good enough for him.
This is soapland, so Zainab returns within minutes to prove Geordie Racer's point - demanding he finish the water feature that night, despite the fact he was working on it since early that morning AND has run out of tiles AND that it's mid-winter! She has a go at him for running out of tiles not once but TWICE... Masood returns to overhear Zainab talking to the imam - which leads him to noisily exit the house.
Count Moonula's house (which somehow looks like a bombsite again) welcomes Half-Day Alice to another day o' work (actually, she seemed to do a half-day) and then he's off. Undeterred by Tiffany ambushing him, Joey feels the need to ambush him too... Weird.
Apparently Alice has gone nanners as she has taken Tyler's shoes hostage. This is apparently sufficient coercion to induce the feckless Moon to tidy up the entire house by the time the Count returns. For some reason, he bought her flower and she bought him a bottle of wine... Weirder and weirder. The somewhat embittered Tyler decides to set Joey off by intimating that Count Moonula and Half-Day are more than merely employer and employee.
Max is brooding about Kirstie now. Multi-tasking on wife angst, eh? A truly modern take on idiocy. Max decides that she has sent the ring back because she has gone back to "some fellah" and with nothing better to do (like running a business), he's off to look for her and yet when Jacknocchio points out this is a bad idea and that he'd do better to forget it. Wise words - which is why Max ignores them.
He drives off to deepest darkest Walford... actually, there is no clue as to where it is but presumably all of five minutes away. Within mere moments of arriving at a run down (even by the low standards of third world Walford) house, Kirstie appears - followed in quick succession by a thuggish ex, clear indications that Kirstie has been hit by the thuggish ex, Max punching the thuggish ex and then Max getting a beating... sadly, we miss most of the beating, as it's done behind closed doors but sometime later, he's ejected looking "injured". Hey Max, you've got red on you.
Instead of going to the hospital - or getting a doughnut to wipe up all that jam - they talk in the car and end up kissing. Yawn.
There are also two plots barely worth mentioning - Tiffany wants to be a pop singer (and requires a Simon Cowell) and Tyler inexplicably decides that the best way to make things up to Twitney is marriage. Most bafflingly of all, he's apparently able to waltz into a nursery unchallenged and get kids to write out the proposal for him.
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