Tanya passes Oscar off to Max (another game of pass the parcel!) and helps herself to chips before sitting down for a chat. Predictable sniping ensues as Tanya is passive aggressive and being generally bitter. Max wants to try and weedle his way back into Tanya's affections though... which Kirstie aka The Lips seems... surprisingly OK with.
Tanya having shown remarkable restraint has managed to hold off pouring herself a drink for over five minutes finally pours herself a glass of wine... perhaps Max is vaguely comprehensible when you're sloshed? The conversation between the two is sufficiently prosaic that even Lauren concludes that it's pointless.
This doesn't stop us getting some of the regulation relationship navel gazing that is so uncompelling, you'd find more articulate and profound things said on the Jeremy Kyle Show... Tanya has a somewhat meta revelation though - that she and Max just keep going round and round in circles. That's pretty much the size of it. You need Doctor Who to bust you out of this timeloop before the time-space continuum collapses into a jam sandwich or something.
Geordie Racer and Masood wait for Tamwar to take a hint and clear off. Meanwhile Carol gets some Dutch courage - unaware of Masood's surprise guest... who has just divulged that she didn't come to visit, SHE CAME FOR HIM!
Carol rolls up and there's some awkwardness, which causes her to walk out. Tamwar walks in to see the flirting between Geordie Racer and Masood in full swing... and has no reaction beyond the usual vaguely upset tummy expression. For goodness sake, Tamwar - it's not normal for problems like these to last this long, go and see your GP! Oh, wait... Walford has no GP. They keep dying in fires.
Probably a bit of a touchy subject for Tambo. Which could be why he continues to berate his father. Who seems... surprisingly OK with his son doing this. Jeez, everyone is being so... laid back tonight. So, then Masood tells Geordie Racer it won't work... she also takes it surprisingly well. Perhaps because she isn't really leaving!
The realities of full time care kick in as Denise and Kim are faced with the dire prospect of NOT GOING OUT! While Patrick can't even open his hip flask. This leads Denise to the Vic (naturally), where she and all the other single women are gathered together to lament the fact that without men, their lives are meaningless.
So much so, Cora even refers to them as a "sad bunch"... but then she also calls Max's house "her home"... You've been in Walford less than a year, most of that time was in Dot's house and you were at BEST tolerated in the Branning residence. It's where you're living and even THAT doesn't make a lick of sense but then, what else is new? Denise then returns home to find Patrick on the floor but that's OK because there's nothing that some rum can't fix.
Kat tells Count Moonula about her inability to keep her mouth shut. Then in a shocking piece of insight, Poxy notes that perhaps there was no ulterior motive behind her actions and maybe Kat is just slapper. Wise words. Then Jean tells Kat "there's darkness in her"... jeez, what's next? Kat stanning up with her sickly basted skin and proclaiming "THIS IZ DA SKIN OVA KILLAH!" but then it seems like the Kalfie relationship is at least as abusive as the one portrayed in Twilight and the standard of writing is at least as bad... so who knows, Kat could soon become one of the undead... but who would even notice, eh?
Count Moonula goes to be shouted at by Alfie but apparently, Poxy's words have soothed his soul and he barely raises his voice above a whisper... Perhaps they've started putting Valium in the water supply? That seems a bit silly. It would be far more sensible to just use cyanide and be done with it.
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