Friday 8th February 2013

Zainab is sobbing because Masood isn't going to marry her. She blubbers a bit and then kisses Masood but he pushes her off and then runs upstairs to start throwing clothes on the bed and discussing the specifics of the divorce... dull, dull, dull. Kamil has also apparently disappeared and isn't woken up by the screaming match his parents are having... Zainab is also concerned about the repercussions of their lives together coming to an end.

Which might be a valid concern if not for the fact that they had DIVORCED AND SHE REMARRIED! Good grief... That's not some minor plot point, that was a major storyline and yet it's not even mentioned but when we return, things have calmed down and the couple are laughing... for about ten seconds before it's back to the prosaic paint-by-numbers melodrama. Yawn.

Zainab is absconding with Kamil RIGHT NOW, apparently... which Masood is surprisingly OK with. All the way back to Pakistan... Tamwar returns to have his parents lie about how Zainab is just going "on holiday". She at least has the common courtesy to apologise for being a terrible mother. Damnit, Zainab take that constipated killjoy with you! And... taxi for Zainab, it's a bit like the end of The Apprentice - with regret, Zainab YOU'RE FIRED! You too Kamil!

In the Vic, the imminent wedding of Twitney and Tyler is being celebrated. Yawn. Bianca is not particularly enthused... and when the groom is one of the Goonies... who can blame her? Having remembered that Dot is on the Square (and having paid lipservice to the fact she is being weighed down with debt) the Crayon Crew set about the televisual equivalent of vandalism to one of the shows favourite characters as Dot (somehow INSTANTLY intoxicated) plays "Never Have I Ever" (inexplicably given a far more stupid and clunky name) and behaves as if she is a completely different character...  let's call her Bizzaro Dot. Fortunately this doesn't last long. Let us never speak of Bizaaro Dot again.

Tamwar and Lucy discuss the destruction of his parent's marriage as if they're old friends, rather than people who have barely even been in the same room together. Then she tells him about her cancer scare - she went to the doctor and is waiting for the results. Yawn.