Kat comes out of the police station to see the waiting Saint Alfie... Poxy is sitting in the kitchen of the Vic... in the dark. A metaphor for the darkness of her ignorance? Anyway, she calls Saint Alfie but he doesn't answer because he's in A cafffffff (not THE cafffffff) with Kat, who begins explaining her current situation. It turns out that someone was injured during the thieving of that three or four dresses. Saint Alfie seems surprisingly unsympathetic for a man who left his supposed girlfriend on Valentine's in the middle of the night to go and be a shoulder to cry on for Kat.
Also, Kat's reason for being with Saint Alfie is that she couldn't face going back to the Square... since when did she care? She also says the security guard might die... OK, how does that affect her, exactly? She didn't steal the goods herself. She didn't even commission the stealing of the goods, she has only passed them on... So, while it might mean the police pursue this matter more vigorously - it doesn't exactly mean they'll be stringing her up.
And then there's an awkward bit before Alfie leaves to lie to Poxy about where he was. His fantastic excuse is he was "out walking". Genius! She'll never see through that!
Kat tells Bianca they're in the clear re: dodgy gear and it's back to work on the stall. This has all made Bianca realise this business needs to be above board. Sounds like a lot of work... no, seriously - a legtimate business in Walford? Even Ian was apparently insulating his walls with wodges of notes to prevent the taxman from getting his grubby mitts on his money. Bianca is pretty clearly on the edge of a nervous breakdown - mostly evidenced by the fact she has gone five minutes without an outburst of shouting! It might be so bad even a pep talk from misery guts Carol doesn't help!
Bianca gets a call from the school to tell her Liam is truanting... funny they didn't do ALL THE OTHER TIMES... it's that attention to detail that just lets you lose yourself in the hyper realism of Eastenders, isn't it? So, Bianca gets to talk to what the Crayon Crew imagine a teacher is... an ineffective, condescending bureaucrat who might as well be the sister of the child catcher/social worker - the contempt the writers have isn't even concealed, Bianca becoming the very definition of an author avatar and as the author is one of the Crayon Crew, it's moronic and idiotic vitriol that is spewed with no nuance or insight. Good to know you hate teachers too, Crayon Crew!
Liam gets a talking to and promises he'll go to school and stop lying... and most surprisingly of all, Bianca actually believe him... How stupid can you be? That stupid. Speaking of stupid, Poxy (who has been told by Kat that she's sorry about Alfie running off to her need) asks how stupid he thinks she is... Ooo, don't ask people that, Poxy... you won't like the answer! And this all leads Saint Alfie to say he's divorcing Kat.
Jacknocchio seems to have given up on his relationship with Sharon... and it's about damned time. Except it's all down to Sharon and Tanya having been BFFs for... all of thirty seconds but Jacknocchio's ire is sufficient to get her to go and talk to Kirstie and they agree to just play nice. Then she pops some balloons in the club... for some reason.
This seems to give her the idea to make it up to Jacknocchio by taking all the stuff from the R&R. Even her freakish Kinder Egg of a child points out that his mother is mad and stupid. However, there is a mysterious phonecall and when Jacknocchio returns, she's nowhere to be seen! Ruhroh, looks like she's decided that instead of a romantic dinner with her future husband to mend fences after the debacle last night, she'll go and spend some time with Phil - yeah, that'll definitely help!
Patrick had his operation - so much for waiting lists... it must be one of these late night operations that everyone is getting. People in Holby have to wait longer! Anyway, the opulent NHS of Walford aside - Dot comes along to tell Patrick to stop being an idiot and tell Denise that he needs a carer.
Oh and there's something involving Half-Day Alice but let's not kid ourselves - even if she cured cancer, set herself on fire and began World War III, it would be difficult to give a damn.
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