Not making that water feature has ruined everything for the Masood family... that's the way of things, isn't it? One unfinished water feature ruins a marriage. Geordie Racer asks why he didn't turn up when the imam was there. It's a big deal to unveil this water feature though! WORD NEEDS TO BE PUT AROUND! Count Moonula even says that Masood is an idiot OUT LOUD... just in case in devotion wasn't clearly excessive.
There is a grand unveiling and... it's bubbling and red. Oh, apparently it's pink. Goodness. Truly, nothing worse has ever happened in human history. Which is why Zainab bursts into Bianca's house and murders the children responsible... sorry, that would be a far more INTERESTING story. She just goes in shouts, gets shouted at and leaves.
Masood and Zainab have an argument, most predicated by Zainab being even MORE panto than usual... this prompts Masood to walk outside, grab a conveniently placed sledgehammer (no reason to keep costly tools inside in a crime ridden sinkhole like Walford, after all!)
Cora - being older than the pyramids - is incapable of buying food, while Max (still with jam on his face) skulks in one of the seldom seen alleys. Apparently Jay and Dexter are going to sort Abi's money worries though. What better way to achieve this than POKER?! An exciting three player, low stakes game in the Arches! Enough to keep you on the edge of your seat... if you're sitting on a piece of string.
Needless to say, it fails. Horribly. Abi isn't happy. Imagine how she feels when seeing her Scotch Egg of a father half-naked in bed clearly post-coital with the terrifying Secret Wife in front of her. Oh dear.
Perhaps somewhat significantly, Tyler tells Saint Alfie about his impending marriage to Twitney with Iron Maiden's "Run To The Hills" playing in the background... but Twitney has a new job and the interview is in the caffffffffffff. The ever skeletal Lucy is on hand and for some reason, she's twitchier than a crack addict! No need to worry though, even though they want to keep it quiet Tyler only told Alfie!
What's that over there? LUCY CANCER SCARE!
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