Jacknocchio is clearly a medical professional as he knows when someone has fallen after being punched and possibly having hit their head, with jam coming out of their ear they're faking it. So, his first reaction is to insist Phil stop messing around - after which he calls Max.
Max is sitting in the Vic, talking to Kirstie THE LIPS. The Lips seems pretty insistent about doing something for Derek... you remember Derek, don't you? The Derek who died cursing everyone's name, Walford's very own Hogfather of crime, who had lied and threatened everyone on the Square - including his own family members... oh yes and who MADE THE LIPS HAVE AN ABORTION! Fortunately, people in Walford have memories less able to retain information than a broken etch-a-sketch - so, that salient piece of information is remembered by no one, despite having been revealed to Max mere weeks ago.
The Lips practically straddles Scotch Egg when he agrees to her plans, much to the disgust of Tanya - who makes her displeasure at The Lips continued existence clear, why don't you try and buy her off again? That worked so well last time! This also results in Max not answering his phone - you have to wonder why people even bother with mobiles in Walford, they either don't answer them or don't remember they exist more than half the time.
This causes Jacknocchio to sneak out of The Arches (his hand covered in jam for some reason - possibly King Phil is so royal he is made of jam?) but the nightmarish hair of Sharon (and also Sharon) ensnares him. Which is bad, as he spies Dexter Fletcher headed toward the Arches. This renders him mute for several moments and she notices his jammy hand, prompting him to tell her he loves her before walking away.
Dexter Fletcher is somehow able to miss King Phil's body in the pit, as is his mother... and both of them leave, again not seeing or hearing the KO'd King...
For once, someone actually notices that a person is behaving strangely and Sharon asks Joey if he noticed... which he didn't but Sharon's hair noticed and Sharon's hair is suspicious... it's hard to tell what (or even if) Sharon thinks anything on the topic though, as she's having another asthma attack.
Jacknocchio finds Max in the car lot, starting in on a bottle of Scotch. On his own. In the middle of the day. He deserves it, he's had a hard day... in the Vic... So, Jack tries to spill his guts to Max but Tanya, Lauren and Abby arrive and rather than waiting, Jack bolts out the door.
The Lips is going around, gathering people for the... gathering but really, it looks more like she's trying to turn tricks. While there is a propensity for the women of Walford to dress like whores, it does actually seem like The Lips is actively soliciting business. Which probably explains how she's able to pay for her room in the B&B.
Sharon's hair is trying to explain to Tanya that a nineteen percent share in the club is worth thousands but seems incapable of understanding that no one gives you something of that kind of value for free. Apparently Jacknocchio just needs to accept that Sharon's hair and Phil are friends - yes, a friendship in which one person employees the other and has just given them a substantial share of a business... everyone should accept that!
They then move to insulting The Lips but this is cut short when Max appears with the girls to drag everyone to the Vic for the celebration of their dead criminal uncle
Jacknocchio is packing his bags but is interrupted by Dot who walks in because he left the door open but who doesn't leave their door open in central London? It's well known as an idyllic crime free utopia! So, Dot comes in to ask him why he isn't going to the suddenly super important remembering Derek is dead party.
Meanwhile, Sharon's hair has gone to the Arches to drop off the contract. Which is why ten seconds after leaving she decides to call him on the phone... because it's not as if you'd call someone first. In fact, there's no real explanation as to why Sharon would assume Phil was in The Arches or why she'd leave the contract there and she doesn't even FIND King Phil's body, so one has to wonder why Sharon's hair was even required to go there... but she calls him and we see that King Phil is alive...
Jack is peering out the blinds, as if he's in some kind of spy movie as Dot blathers away at him about the dead... not even any Bible stuff! They wisely decide to leave her to it and Jack is finally able to explain the felling of King Phil or perhaps that should be regicide? But Dot is apparently in insufferable mode today and she barges in and insists they go to the Derek's dead party.
As we have established earlier, Jacknocchio is a medical expert of the highest calibre and his prognosis of King Phil? "'Ee's ded!" Despite this definitive statement, Max wants a second opinion but Jack - like most TV doctors - is certain of his own inerrant judgement. He also needs a drink and at this point, the Branning horde descends upon the Vic, just as King Phil claws his way out of the pit. Sufficient are their numbers that Dexter Fletcher and Long Lost Ava comment on it. Alice comes in and is brought to tears at the sight - who wouldn't be?
King Phil rises from the pit, in a scene that is clearly paying homage to The Dark Knight rises and emerges from the Arches, coughing... yeah, hits on the head will do that. Meanwhile, Jack is in the pub confessing to the murder of King Phil via the medium of shouting. Apparently it took killing a man for Jacknocchio to realise that Sharon's hair and him just aren't going to work.
No sooner has Sharon's hair huffed and puffed out of the Vic than King Phil, having apparently rolled around in soot and more royal jam staggers in. Medical expertise is apparently a transferable skill as Max after saying about a sentence to Phil is able to establish that he doesn't remember, as the king looks on all bleary eyed.
Showing for the second time in the same episode that you should always get a second opinion, just a few moments later Phil gets to his feet and (attempts to) lunge at Jack but then falls to the ground, clutching his chest as he the King proclaims "You did this!" Just as well you didn't do anything silly like more or less confess to this in a crowded pub, Jack!
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