Apparently Oscar goes to school... or rather, comes back. Strange, doesn't he go to the 24/7 boarding school like the rest of the children in Walford? Lauren is apparently going to start her course... which requires her to have her father's credit card. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan!
Cora tries to sweet talk Dot out of eviction but she's not to be dissuaded. Ian stops by and tells her how glad he is she has returned but Dot says coming back just reminded her why she left in the first place... it's surprising more people don't have that reaction!
Then she goes off to talk to Lauren about her relationship with Joey. She babbles incoherently for a while before blurting out a bible verse... it's as if someone has had the character of Dot explained to them by a drunk and has tried to (unsuccessfully) reconstruct the character from scratch. Tossing in a quotation from scripture just seems to be a "Hey, Dot quotes the bible, right? Then let's stick a quote!"
Lauren thieves money with the credit card and then props up the bar at the Vic, where she complains to Kirstie about people looking at her... OK, she's stolen the money but she has been publicly outed as sleeping with her cousin and Walford is not well known for its openness and tolerance at the best of times... why didn't she just buy some booze and drown her sorrows at home?
Kirstie sees this as an opportunity to win Lauren over though. JUST AS MAX AND TANYA WALK IN! After a few words are exchanged (where Max says they have to come in sometime - yes because there are no other pubs in London) they walk out again. That was productive! Just as well none of them have jobs to go to.
That's not enough to dissuade the formerly secret wife though and she takes the day off to her step-daughter... because Tanya has stopped talking to her meaningfully. Lauren mentions running over her father in a surprisingly casual manner but then, as she points out - that's hardly the worst thing that has happened to her family!
For no reason comprehensible by a normal, rational human being Kirstie - despite being less than thirty paces from Lauren's front door - calls Max to come and get Lauren... which inexplicably takes LONGER than five minutes. Oh and he lies about it to Tanya. So, it should come as no surprise that he keeps the key to Kirstie's room at the B&B...
Dot talks to Jay about him and his role in 'Ev's murder - what better place for this kind of talk than in the cafffffffffff? That's a good place for an emotional talk about the death of a close friend... Jay expresses his regret about the whole thing and Dot absolves him of responsibility and says they have to remember 'Ev for all the good things... that's a vanishingly short list.
Cora having tried unsuccessfully to stay at the B&B goes to talk to Tanya about lodgings. Not her problem, apparently... that's a surprisingly pragmatic answer. Although Cora does note that Dot is acting weird... oh and apparently she's staying at the B&B as a paying guest...
The Masood madness continues as Geordie Racer continues to think Masood is interested. Perhaps not helped by the way he continues to talk to her and even when Geordie Racer gives him an invite with hearts on it - he doesn't put her straight. Instead he goes to the Vic and throws out the invite...
He returns to the house just for Zainab to thrust him and Geordie Racer into another situation where they have to spend more time together - because of the regional manager position, apparently! Cue the second meeting of Rasheed and Geordie Racer... no chaperone this time, apparently!
Phil's reign of clucking continues as he pries Lexi from Lola's arms.
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