Friday 17th May 2013

Ava doesn't want Deadbeat Dad to be more than a cliffnote.

Lola is prying into the date Billy Idiot was supposed to have with her Ava but instead of just saying she rescheduled, he lies... because that makes sense.

Kim is still allegedly running a B&B but apparently can't even manage to provide breakfast for her guests (oh and Shirley is back there, having emerged from her torpor... although, you'd think she'd be hung over given the state she was in last night and that one vodka can pretty much comatose Lauren but then, she isn't made of old boot leather). In fact, it's worse than that as an ENTIRE LOAF has gone mouldy... the evidence is mounting that Kim suffers from a severely diminished mental capacity - oh and Deadbeat Dad is staying at the B&B.

Ian is being all business but Evil Lauren gets him to cover for the caffffffffff while she goes off to some meeting.

Count Moonula is telling Half-Day Alice that Janine is the perfect killing machine... well, maybe if the only prey that exists is Barry Evans.

DA YOUFF holiday subplot! Yawn. Deadbeat Dad meets Dexter Fletcher in the caffffffff and Jay and Abi tell him to "help" his mother.

Ava is evasive about rescheduling with Billy Idiot, to whit King Phil says she wouldn't touch him with someone else's barge pole... FINALLY, some realism!

Deadbeat Dad pretends to be with Kim and then gets roped into helping Ian with his builders.

Half-Day Alice makes a mess of things at Janine's...

Abi and Dexter Fletcher discuss plans to get Ava and Deadbeat Dad together...

Elsewhere, Deadbeat Dad is apparently going to single handedly come to Ian's rescue as regards his current problems.

Whitney has reappeared (with a truly unnatural skin colour - it looks as if she mistook a tannery for a tanning salon) and has remembered the wedding.

Half-Day Alice is fretting over Janine.

Denise teaches Kim a lesson about her massive negligence as a business owner... How is she still in business again?

Billy Idiot has realised - not for the first time  - he's the Square's loser... Is a suicide in the offing? Fingers crossed.

Deadbeat Dad gets talked into drinks at the Vic by Dexter Fletcher. Then he gets Ava to go there - what could possibly go wrong?!

In a turn of events telegraphed a mile away, Deadbeat Dad tells Ian the work cost more and out of cash - Ian resorts to using his daughter's blank cheque from earlier... WHO WRITES A BLANK CHEQUE?!

Lola tries to console Billy Idiot about being a total loser. That's a waste of time.

As all people in Walford are idiots, Ian waits until Lucy is home and has JUST walked out of the room to remove the incriminating cheque stub. Smooth.

In a turn of events that is truly shocking, things don't turn out too well with the surprise date for Ava and Deadbeat Dad, as Dexter Fletcher works out that Deadbeat Dad is actually HIS dad and then he runs off as Ava does more shouting. Sorry, "acting".