Monday 26th August 2013

Jay and Dexter are ready to go off on their trip but Peter seems anxious because of Cyndi 2... and invites himself along on the camping trip and Cyndi 2 wants to go along but she can't.

Lola is fretting about leaving Lexi  alone... you can't blame her. Billy Idiot isn't known for his... anything.

Phil insists that nothing should go wrong but already, we've got Lola carrying along about twenty bags. Which doesn't make any sense as they're going away for two days and they're coming back on the train. Then everyone is conveniently distracted. Let's hope no one unwanted sneaks in the boot!

A scene with Jean and DCI The Bill - where he alludes to her being in a manic episode but is obviously oblivious to it.

The kids are off on their roadtrip. Oh, the excitement! Billy gets distracted by a woman of average looks going into the B&B.

Abi seems to be in a bit of a mood and dohohoh, no one has a wire to connect their phone - uh, wouldn't it be able to connect via wireless or bluetooth?

Alfie confronts Jean about her being happy and he gets around to telling her that she needs to tell DCI The Bill about her bipolar disorder.  That seems far too sensible.

The tedious car journey continues but ohoh. THEY'RE LOST! If only most cars like this had satnav! Or if only Phil had printed out a map. Fortunately, Peter is capable of working this all out in a second but then to add to the comedy hijinks the car gets stuck in the mud and if you guessed that someone got sprayed with it, you've shown how unimaginative the writers are... Lola is the victim of this cliche but Peter is on-hand to be her knight in shining armour and shows off the real reason why he was hired - his manly body... which both Abi and Lola take notice of.

Jean finally confesses... to not liking strawberries and then tells off Alfie for having the audacity to suggest she be honest.

In a plot twist that was telegraphed on  Friday, you'll never guess who was able to remain perfectly still and silent in the boot the entire time. Yup, Cyndi 2, electric boogaloo is in the New Forest with the rest of DA YOUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

The woman of average looks finds Billy Idiot in the B&B to repay Kim and she seems improbably taken with Walford's biggest loser.

Dexter is flirting with a tavern wench - goodness.

Jay tells Abi she has to go to uni but HERE COMES THE INEVITABLE PREGNANCY SCARE!